:: Staying In or Getting Out
? Hi everyone! I'm new here and thought that maybe you all could help me with a decision that DH (Dear Husband) & I have to make. I just want some input and experiences to help us.
DH has told me that he is now currently thinking about staying in the Guard beyond the 4 years he signed up for. We had always planned on going back to our home state, but, this seems like a better option.
We haven't really talked that much about it, because we're coming up with our own lists of "Good and Bad" reasons to stay, and we're going to sit down and discuss it. I'd like to know if any of you went through this. What were your reasons for staying? Were you happy with your decision?
I'd like to hear all the good and bad reasons for us to stay in. I want us to make this decision based on all the information we can get.
Thanks for your help!!!
A I married dh knowing that he was most likely going to make a career out of the CG. As long as he is happy in what he does, I'm happy. I love the moving, the people I meet, the new experiences and all the opportunities my kids have that I didn't at their age.
As far as the bad things...My Good things totally out weigh the bad.
I wouldn't mind seeing my hubby more but that comes with the job and if he wasn't in the CG the jobs he would be interested in would have him most likely gone a lot too.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
A Hi! We went through this, too! We decided to stay in because it was best for our growing family, and there are so many opportunities in the CG! DH got most of his college courses paid for and he was able to go to OCS this summer/fall.
Good luck with your decision!
A I married my DH knowing he wanted a career in the USCG. My goods also out weigh my bads. The CG has been a good experience for me and the kids. They have seen things and lived in places a lot of kids don't get a chance to. They are more open and positive than most, I think.
The bads are just when my DH is gone for one reason or another. I just sometimes wish for an normal life..but then realize is that something that is really out there?
Good luck on your decision!
A Hi and Welcome! DH joined the CG at 21, and wanted to do just 4 years. We were engaged during the last year of that 4 years. He asked me what he should do--get out or make a career out of the CG. We did sit down and make a positive and negative of the CG and he decided to make a career of it and we were both happy with that decision.
Some of the things we looked at were the fact that he had job security. In this day and age that is very hard to come by, plus insurance was a nice incentive, plus we love to travel and go to new places. We sat down together, but I told him I wanted HIM to be happy with the decision he makes. I always want HIM to be happy...and if in 15 years he's not happy with the life of being in the CG and decides to get out(hopefully not LOL) then that's that.
Good luck and I hope you and your DH come to a happy and fulfilling decision.
A Thank you so much for your replies. I know this decision will be a hard one to make - but I'm hoping we make the right one.
We have no kids as of right now, but plan on trying soon. Our only drawback to staying in the CG is being away from our parents when our kids are growing up.
DH and I were married when he joined - it was a mutual decision. Now that time is running out, we want to make sure that we stay for the right reasons, or get out for the right reasons. I want him to be happy with what he does, and I want to be happy wherever he is.
I can deal with being without him, but I think it will be harder when we have kids. I think it's something I can get used to though.
Keep the answers coming! I'm excited to hear that you are happy with staying in!!!
A Hi and Welcome to Coastie Chicks and the Coast Guard Family!
My husband and I were married in July. He had also originally signed for 4yrs and has now decided to sign up for a few more. I really wish that we could be in the same state as my family, but we have just prayed and are letting God place us where he wants us.
He hasn't decided if he is going to make a career out of it, but either way is fine with me. He can always decide later in his career if he wants to get out.
We are getting ready to go to our 2nd station and I really haven't experienced anything bad. His next assignment will be on a boat, so I may be eating my words, but probably not. We are really excited.
Well I hope to have helped you some! Good Luck with whatever you decide.
A When I married my husband he was a Marine. He was set to get out 3 years after I met him. He said he was going to get out. I figured we'd just live a normal life after that.
Well about 3 months after being a civilian, he and a friend of his (the friend was still a Marine at the time) were discussing joining the CG. I was livid. I really didn't want to be a military wife for the rest of my life. I screamed and yelled and cried. I thought about it for a week and we had a long talk about it. I finally came to the decision that if he wasn't happy doing what he was doing then he'd just always be miserable. So I said ok, but there were some stipulations. One was that he had to do at least 20 years. If I was going to give up my career and an awesome job, leave my family and friends I wasn't going to do just a 4 year fling. Also we were to stay out of Hawaii for as long as possible because once he got stationed there we were going to be staying there.
We've now been married 10 years and he's got nearly 12 years of service. After this tour we're going to do one more outside of Hawaii and then we're going home to stay. He would like to put in more than 20 years. Once we get to Hawaii and puts in one tour there he should be at 20 years. If he can't stay in Hawaii to do extra tours then he's going to have to get out. I'm not leaving home again.
My husband loves his job. Loves serving his country and just being of service. He enjoys learning all the new things he is able to learn and loves seeing all the places he gets to go when on the boat.
For us it was the best decision we ever made. Good luck with what ever you guys too.
A My hubby got out back in "88" and we moved to his hometown, thinking that life was going to be so good, me and the kids would see him more....etc. We actually saw him less! We didn't have medical insurance....we could have gotten it for $300 a month!
After 5 months we had it with civilian life and he went back in. It has never affected our kids not seeing Grandparents and other family members as often as other kids do, but it has given them an appreciation of family. My hubby can retire next May....he hasn't decided yet if he is going to or not. Personally I hope he does another 10 years!
Good Luck with your decision!
A DH had 6 years in when I met him. Truthfully, I never really thought about it. The CG is DH and I simply have a hard time thinking about him doing anything else. Guess I'd better start, he has 19 years in now LOL!
As for the not being around family. Well, I miss mine a lot and we have only ever been stationed around them once (9 months right after we got married). Thank god for airplanes is all I say.
Although I did feel bad for my dd#1 (first Dear Daughter) yesterday. She said "how come we can't just get on an airplane and fly to see Grampie on his birthday". Guess I need to try to clue her in that it costs money to fly, its not just something you get to do for free LOL!
Good luck in your decision. I guess for us it was never a question. DH lives and dies by the sea.
A Dh did his 4 years and got out. Actually it was a little over 4 years because he had to add on school time. Anyway, I had spent 2-1/2 of it with him. We both couldn't wait for him to get out and I so wanted to go back to where I grew up. My whole family still being there.
Well we moved back to my home, was there maybe 3-5 weeks tops. We both found jobs right away but neither of us liked them and we were living with my parents until we could find a place to rent which no-one wanted to rent to us with both of us only having job security for 3 weeks. DH dream job was to become a police officer (family thing) and Boston wasn't going to cut it. Too many politics. So off we were anyway to Ohio where he grew up and he was sponsored to attend police academy. We both worked for his step-dad, made great money, bought a house, you'd think life was happy.
Meanwhile we were both miserable. I hated Ohio, my job was my life. He graduated Academy 2nd in his class, but economy was so bad at the time no-one was hiring. Long story short, DH was out of CG for 3 years!! I came back from a trip back home and he tells me he had gone in to talk to the detailer about re-enlisting.
All I can say it's the best choice we've made. By this point I had 1 child and another on the way. He loved his job in the Guard, which was priority, job security was 2nd, insurance, etc. It never was about money as we had been doing fine in the civilian sector in that respect, but happiness has to fit in there too!!
Here we are, he has 3 more years to 20 and as of right now, if he can continue to do what he's doing he's going to go over. Once he hits 20, he said when the morning comes he no-longer enjoys going to work than that'll be the time to think about retiring.
He loves his job. We hit it lucky too, the day he went in to see that detailer to re-enlist they said this is your lucky day, we need your rate and so he basically started off where he left off (normally you have to drop a rate or 2).
Just another story, good luck with your decision.
A Hi and welcome to Coastie Chicks!
My DH had 5 years in when we married, I knew he was in for 20. It can be hard being away from family but I went into the military spouse lifestyle thinking "this is just going to make my family larger" I have made some very close friends that are just as close as family to me, people that have added a lot to my life and helped me grow to the person I am now.
Dh has 13 years in now, and I still get homesick at times, but I have gained greater appreciation for my family. We have two children ages 7 and 4, they have had so many more opportunities than I did growing up, and I see them growing up confident, outgoing, and open to new experiences. It can be tough when Dh deploys, the kids miss him terribly at times, but you learn how to ease their broken hearts, and also appreciate the time you do have as a family.
I myself have become more confident, self reliant. I'm very happy with the way we live, I never get bored. Of course, there are the other benefits, job security, insurance, travel, and decent retirement pay. Dh is now talking about doing and extra 5 after his 20. I figure if I get through doing 15 with him another 5 is nothing.
Good luck! God Bless
A Hubby and I were engaged right after boot camp and married 2 years later. He always talked about making it a life long thing. And for years I said YOUR GETTING OUT IN 20! Now that we are almost at the 20 year mark he's wanting to get out and I'm begging him to stay in 30!
Just think..... insurance cost when your not in the military. Also you'd never be able to live and travel the way you can in the military. I think being military makes me feel more secure.
As for family, we always lived no longer than 4 hours away from home. And now we are 5000 miles and 18 hours away ! Doesn't bother me too much to only see them once a year. You get used to not seeing them so much after awhile. But at least we all know they will be ANYWHERE for us if we need them. Same goes with you us being there for them.
Stay in at least another 4 years. It gets harder but as long as he enjoys it he will be just fine and so will you.
My DH is talking about getting out and going into the Navy as a Chaplain possibly. SHEEEW I don't know if I'm ready for that personally BUT I do know that I will support him in whatever it is he wants to do.
Good Luck
A WE decided to stay in!!!
DH told me last night that he really wants us to have a good future. I am very excited about this, cause I think it's the right decision.
So, now we just have to get a list going of where we want to go next! Anyone have any suggestions?? I'm thinking the WARMER the BETTER!!!
Thanks for all your help...I'm sure I'll have a ton of questions as time goes on!
DH has told me that he is now currently thinking about staying in the Guard beyond the 4 years he signed up for. We had always planned on going back to our home state, but, this seems like a better option.
We haven't really talked that much about it, because we're coming up with our own lists of "Good and Bad" reasons to stay, and we're going to sit down and discuss it. I'd like to know if any of you went through this. What were your reasons for staying? Were you happy with your decision?
I'd like to hear all the good and bad reasons for us to stay in. I want us to make this decision based on all the information we can get.
Thanks for your help!!!
A I married dh knowing that he was most likely going to make a career out of the CG. As long as he is happy in what he does, I'm happy. I love the moving, the people I meet, the new experiences and all the opportunities my kids have that I didn't at their age.
As far as the bad things...My Good things totally out weigh the bad.
I wouldn't mind seeing my hubby more but that comes with the job and if he wasn't in the CG the jobs he would be interested in would have him most likely gone a lot too.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
A Hi! We went through this, too! We decided to stay in because it was best for our growing family, and there are so many opportunities in the CG! DH got most of his college courses paid for and he was able to go to OCS this summer/fall.
Good luck with your decision!
A I married my DH knowing he wanted a career in the USCG. My goods also out weigh my bads. The CG has been a good experience for me and the kids. They have seen things and lived in places a lot of kids don't get a chance to. They are more open and positive than most, I think.
The bads are just when my DH is gone for one reason or another. I just sometimes wish for an normal life..but then realize is that something that is really out there?
Good luck on your decision!
A Hi and Welcome! DH joined the CG at 21, and wanted to do just 4 years. We were engaged during the last year of that 4 years. He asked me what he should do--get out or make a career out of the CG. We did sit down and make a positive and negative of the CG and he decided to make a career of it and we were both happy with that decision.
Some of the things we looked at were the fact that he had job security. In this day and age that is very hard to come by, plus insurance was a nice incentive, plus we love to travel and go to new places. We sat down together, but I told him I wanted HIM to be happy with the decision he makes. I always want HIM to be happy...and if in 15 years he's not happy with the life of being in the CG and decides to get out(hopefully not LOL) then that's that.
Good luck and I hope you and your DH come to a happy and fulfilling decision.
A Thank you so much for your replies. I know this decision will be a hard one to make - but I'm hoping we make the right one.
We have no kids as of right now, but plan on trying soon. Our only drawback to staying in the CG is being away from our parents when our kids are growing up.
DH and I were married when he joined - it was a mutual decision. Now that time is running out, we want to make sure that we stay for the right reasons, or get out for the right reasons. I want him to be happy with what he does, and I want to be happy wherever he is.
I can deal with being without him, but I think it will be harder when we have kids. I think it's something I can get used to though.
Keep the answers coming! I'm excited to hear that you are happy with staying in!!!
A Hi and Welcome to Coastie Chicks and the Coast Guard Family!
My husband and I were married in July. He had also originally signed for 4yrs and has now decided to sign up for a few more. I really wish that we could be in the same state as my family, but we have just prayed and are letting God place us where he wants us.
He hasn't decided if he is going to make a career out of it, but either way is fine with me. He can always decide later in his career if he wants to get out.
We are getting ready to go to our 2nd station and I really haven't experienced anything bad. His next assignment will be on a boat, so I may be eating my words, but probably not. We are really excited.
Well I hope to have helped you some! Good Luck with whatever you decide.
A When I married my husband he was a Marine. He was set to get out 3 years after I met him. He said he was going to get out. I figured we'd just live a normal life after that.
Well about 3 months after being a civilian, he and a friend of his (the friend was still a Marine at the time) were discussing joining the CG. I was livid. I really didn't want to be a military wife for the rest of my life. I screamed and yelled and cried. I thought about it for a week and we had a long talk about it. I finally came to the decision that if he wasn't happy doing what he was doing then he'd just always be miserable. So I said ok, but there were some stipulations. One was that he had to do at least 20 years. If I was going to give up my career and an awesome job, leave my family and friends I wasn't going to do just a 4 year fling. Also we were to stay out of Hawaii for as long as possible because once he got stationed there we were going to be staying there.
We've now been married 10 years and he's got nearly 12 years of service. After this tour we're going to do one more outside of Hawaii and then we're going home to stay. He would like to put in more than 20 years. Once we get to Hawaii and puts in one tour there he should be at 20 years. If he can't stay in Hawaii to do extra tours then he's going to have to get out. I'm not leaving home again.
My husband loves his job. Loves serving his country and just being of service. He enjoys learning all the new things he is able to learn and loves seeing all the places he gets to go when on the boat.
For us it was the best decision we ever made. Good luck with what ever you guys too.
A My hubby got out back in "88" and we moved to his hometown, thinking that life was going to be so good, me and the kids would see him more....etc. We actually saw him less! We didn't have medical insurance....we could have gotten it for $300 a month!
After 5 months we had it with civilian life and he went back in. It has never affected our kids not seeing Grandparents and other family members as often as other kids do, but it has given them an appreciation of family. My hubby can retire next May....he hasn't decided yet if he is going to or not. Personally I hope he does another 10 years!
Good Luck with your decision!
A DH had 6 years in when I met him. Truthfully, I never really thought about it. The CG is DH and I simply have a hard time thinking about him doing anything else. Guess I'd better start, he has 19 years in now LOL!
As for the not being around family. Well, I miss mine a lot and we have only ever been stationed around them once (9 months right after we got married). Thank god for airplanes is all I say.
Although I did feel bad for my dd#1 (first Dear Daughter) yesterday. She said "how come we can't just get on an airplane and fly to see Grampie on his birthday". Guess I need to try to clue her in that it costs money to fly, its not just something you get to do for free LOL!
Good luck in your decision. I guess for us it was never a question. DH lives and dies by the sea.
A Dh did his 4 years and got out. Actually it was a little over 4 years because he had to add on school time. Anyway, I had spent 2-1/2 of it with him. We both couldn't wait for him to get out and I so wanted to go back to where I grew up. My whole family still being there.
Well we moved back to my home, was there maybe 3-5 weeks tops. We both found jobs right away but neither of us liked them and we were living with my parents until we could find a place to rent which no-one wanted to rent to us with both of us only having job security for 3 weeks. DH dream job was to become a police officer (family thing) and Boston wasn't going to cut it. Too many politics. So off we were anyway to Ohio where he grew up and he was sponsored to attend police academy. We both worked for his step-dad, made great money, bought a house, you'd think life was happy.
Meanwhile we were both miserable. I hated Ohio, my job was my life. He graduated Academy 2nd in his class, but economy was so bad at the time no-one was hiring. Long story short, DH was out of CG for 3 years!! I came back from a trip back home and he tells me he had gone in to talk to the detailer about re-enlisting.
All I can say it's the best choice we've made. By this point I had 1 child and another on the way. He loved his job in the Guard, which was priority, job security was 2nd, insurance, etc. It never was about money as we had been doing fine in the civilian sector in that respect, but happiness has to fit in there too!!
Here we are, he has 3 more years to 20 and as of right now, if he can continue to do what he's doing he's going to go over. Once he hits 20, he said when the morning comes he no-longer enjoys going to work than that'll be the time to think about retiring.
He loves his job. We hit it lucky too, the day he went in to see that detailer to re-enlist they said this is your lucky day, we need your rate and so he basically started off where he left off (normally you have to drop a rate or 2).
Just another story, good luck with your decision.
A Hi and welcome to Coastie Chicks!
My DH had 5 years in when we married, I knew he was in for 20. It can be hard being away from family but I went into the military spouse lifestyle thinking "this is just going to make my family larger" I have made some very close friends that are just as close as family to me, people that have added a lot to my life and helped me grow to the person I am now.
Dh has 13 years in now, and I still get homesick at times, but I have gained greater appreciation for my family. We have two children ages 7 and 4, they have had so many more opportunities than I did growing up, and I see them growing up confident, outgoing, and open to new experiences. It can be tough when Dh deploys, the kids miss him terribly at times, but you learn how to ease their broken hearts, and also appreciate the time you do have as a family.
I myself have become more confident, self reliant. I'm very happy with the way we live, I never get bored. Of course, there are the other benefits, job security, insurance, travel, and decent retirement pay. Dh is now talking about doing and extra 5 after his 20. I figure if I get through doing 15 with him another 5 is nothing.
Good luck! God Bless
A Hubby and I were engaged right after boot camp and married 2 years later. He always talked about making it a life long thing. And for years I said YOUR GETTING OUT IN 20! Now that we are almost at the 20 year mark he's wanting to get out and I'm begging him to stay in 30!
Just think..... insurance cost when your not in the military. Also you'd never be able to live and travel the way you can in the military. I think being military makes me feel more secure.
As for family, we always lived no longer than 4 hours away from home. And now we are 5000 miles and 18 hours away ! Doesn't bother me too much to only see them once a year. You get used to not seeing them so much after awhile. But at least we all know they will be ANYWHERE for us if we need them. Same goes with you us being there for them.
Stay in at least another 4 years. It gets harder but as long as he enjoys it he will be just fine and so will you.
My DH is talking about getting out and going into the Navy as a Chaplain possibly. SHEEEW I don't know if I'm ready for that personally BUT I do know that I will support him in whatever it is he wants to do.
Good Luck
A WE decided to stay in!!!
DH told me last night that he really wants us to have a good future. I am very excited about this, cause I think it's the right decision.
So, now we just have to get a list going of where we want to go next! Anyone have any suggestions?? I'm thinking the WARMER the BETTER!!!
Thanks for all your help...I'm sure I'll have a ton of questions as time goes on!
